Ridley: I want the caves to look awesome, I mean mind blowing.
PD: I already blew all our money on the ship
Ridley: But they should look awesome
PD: I'll make one with the money I have left and you just have them walk through it several times and in different directions to look like different pathways.
Ridley: Excellent, where's my assistant? I want some tea made with water from Antarctica.
I joke. Ridley is supposed to be a fairly nice director.
A lot of blah blah horror/alien type stuff happens. Then Charlize comes across the surly captain. He hits on her. She refuses. He pulls out his accordion, she changes her mind. She came on this voyage to see if the rumors were true and she is going to verify if what they say about black guys is in fact true. She also wrote into her contract that she will never again have a sex scene unless she has ugly make-up on and she's playing a serial killer, eliminating a lot of sex scenes (but not all future ones).
Then a lot of stuff happens. People come back from the dead as aliens. We learn that the weapons of the future are just flame throwers. A traumatizing "birth" scene occurs that quenched my need for calamari for awhile.
Then everybody dies except Naomi who is from Sweden and therefore can not be killed. Not by being in the turbine when the alien ship takes off. Not by tectonic shifting plates that she must jump across. Not by her child who has a thing for red heads. The entire experience ends with Naomi not only enthralled by this alien that tried to kill her but hoping to find more of his kind because his abs are just too much to resist.
No comments:
Post a Comment